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  • Writer's pictureBosede


Updated: Nov 8, 2020

Starting and maintaining any relationship involves critical thinking ability that drains your energy time in and time out. What do I mean by relationship? It simply means how people interacts or are connected by blood, marriage, employment, friendship etc. Some relationship can be intimate in nature while some can be cold or sketchy in nature. Some people rush into a relationship and in no time they will rush out. This is because of the reality shock when they get there. Relationship breaks down when there is no sense of security, when there is poor financial status, lack of attraction, also when decision making and household chores are one sided. Not only that, but also selfishness and lack of compliment create more gaps in relationships.

Forming a relation stem from our past experience according to attachment theories that taught us that our past experience can shape the way our brain function. Take for instance, if you are suspended from school for bad behaviour and you are frequently exposed to drug and alcohol in your environment, not only that, you are also excluded from a group of teenagers at school or bullied by gang at school, or you experience severe neglect as a child or you feel no one in the family cares about you, and you have conflict with your siblings all the time, feeling rejected by your peers, you may develop emotion instability, your brain may start to struggle to regulate conflicting emotions. You may start to feel shame, guilty and may become aggressive towards yourself and others in an attempt to regulate your negative feelings.

What can you do to maintain safe relationship in this challenging and stressful environment? This question will be addressed in my next post. Stay tuned

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